In my room

One would think that laying around in bed all day would lend itself to deep thoughts, self realization and an unlimited amount of time to blog. I have done none of these things. It's hard to find something to write about when you feel like you are doing next to nothing (besides making a human being, of course). I spend my days doing a lot of reading, a little shopping (what would I do without the internet), figuring out how to use my new camera, and learning French. The camera is like a big tease, making me want to jump up and run downstairs, or (dare I say it) outside to try it out! These four walls that surround me all day offer very little as far as photo subjects are concerned.
My poor Asher has been a good sport about the whole thing, but I think it's been a little hard on him. It breaks a little piece of my heart when he grabs my hand and asks me to come play trains with him, and I say I can't right now. We do have our fun playing games, computer games and reading books, but he's such a high energy kid that I fear he's a little on the bored side most of the time.
Corey's mom, Claudia has been kind enough to be our "caretaker" for a while, which has been a really huge help to all of us. We appreciate her time and effort and willingness to serve us during this time when we are so in need. Heaven knows we couldn't do this without her. I just hope we don't burn her out. Taking care of a busy 3 year old, a pregnant lady on bedrest and her son who is studying for the BAR exam can't be all that easy.
I have my snappy, irritated, I've-lost-all-control-of-my-life moments and I make comments about things that are really insignificant (ie..."that's not the kind of toothpaste I wanted"). I think if I was taking care of someone like me I would just shove the food through a flap door and run (think prison in the Chateau d'If in the Count of Monte Cristo) for fear of some random pregnancy and hormone induced retaliation. At least that's what I feel like inside at times, and hopefully I am handling this better on the surface. I'd hate to scare away loved ones and friends.
In all honesty most days are okay. Long, but fine. Strangely, the weeks seem to be going by fast, but the days are crawling. I find some comfort in knowing we'll look back on this couple of months and shrug our shoulders and sigh.
I am so excited to bring this little guy home, safe and healthy, so I'll do what needs to be done without a doubt. I know what a miracle it is for every baby to enter this world, and I feel lucky to be able to have that chance at all.
And so, I will continue my "restful" period, knowing that it will be over with before I know it. By then I'll wish I could have some of this down time stashed away for all the midnight feedings and sleepless nights still to come. Ah, well, the grass is always greener, right?